"Predictions for 2007"

By Rick Kaempfer & Dave Stern






*Number of major league starts by Mark Prior: 6.


*Month of Warner Saunders “surprise” retirement announcement at Channel 5: June.


*Date of Rod Blagojevich’s indictment: November 17.


*Number of Calories Nicole Richie will eat in '07. 3400


*Number of points Bears lose first playoff game by: 14.


*First heart attack—Dick Cheney, Dennis Hastert, or Jim Hendry: Hendry


*Who will eat more donuts this year Jim Hendry or Karl Rove: Rove


*First celebrity breakup: Jim Carrey & Jenny McCarthy.


*Number of Bulls playoff victories: 3


*Month of first story about 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love: February.


*Number of joint media appearances by figure skater Sasha Cohen & comedian Sacha Baron Cohen: Zero.


*Average number of fans attending White Sox games in May: 18,000.


*Date of first Lou Pinella ejection: April 30.


*Date Chicago Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs: September 4.


*Amount the Tribune will spend per Cubs win..$2,200,000


*Number of Michael Richards’ movies: Zero.


*Number of times Paris Hilton discusses the crisis in Darfur: Zero


*Number of times a local weatherman is blamed for bad weather by local anchors: 73.


*Date Jay Mariotti calls for Ken Williams firing: August 6.


*Which will be greater? The number of completed passes Rex Grossman has in the playoffs or the the number of testicles of an average male: Tie


*Number of joint media appearances by William Jefferson and William Jefferson Clinton: Zero.


*Number of Big Ten schools in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament: 4


*Number of wacky "mother and daughter switching bodies" movies will Hollywood release this year. 7


*Lower ERA—Dave Aardmsa or Neal Cotts: Aardsma.


*Number of times Lindsey Lohan will get drunk and need stitches. 11


*Number of dustups between David Gregory and Tony Snow: 12.


*Number of people who will buy the new Who album: 82


*Most likely to appear on the Surreal Life: K-Fed.


*Number of people VP Cheney accidentally shoots in the face: Zero.